My Storyboard. My Dreams.

I am a huge fan of Pinterest! It takes me back to the days when I was studying for my diploma in fashion and, I among other students, sat around flicking through magazines [of any kind] in search of inspiration for our next clothing design. We cut, we pasted, and voila… a storyboard that represented a theme. The theme represented our own taste, thoughts, emotions and likes. They may have been someone else’s pictures but we ‘chose’ them.

One of the very first storyboards I created was one that had to represent who I was as a person. I was 15 when I created it and it has hung above our bed for a long time, it reminds me of the person that I am supposed to be. I think back to when I was 15 and I remember how young I was, having completed my schooling and now an emerging fashion student at TAFE. I was so raw and so pure in my thoughts and style. I drew from the current trends but I was never ruled by them. I wore what I liked! I also giggle a little because there were hairstyles and outfits where I now think “what on earth was I thinking?!” but I was my own.

Sometimes I feel so far from who I am. I get caught up in wondering what I ‘should’ be, and the person people want to see. My clothing style is still all mine, I feel no pressure there but my personality, my job status and my dreams all feel stretched and tormented. Will people like me for the person I am?

I look at my storyboard and I see that 15 year old Jessica was a girl with classic and feminine taste, she dreamed of being a wife and the story says she wanted to be a mother also. 15 year old Jessica wanted to represent womanhood and she stood for the sisterhood. She wanted the pretty things of the world to be appreciated. She wanted to have love all around her but, most of all she wanted to generate and radiate that love. 15 year old Jessica tells me that good friendships were incredibly hard to find and build. But as I glance at her board she says that she’ll still be the person she is and the person God created her to be, no matter what. No compromises.

Whilst I may have changed a little over the past 10 years I am no less the girl represented in that storyboard.

I can learn many things by looking back at that board but I know I could teach her a few things too. I would tell 15 year old Jessica that a pearl ring is an impractical engagement ring. I would tell her that age would not make friendships easier to build, and that flower crowns and flowing white dresses would not make a sisterhood. I would tell her that marriage wasn’t all about French kissing and skipping through fields. I would tell her that childbirth isn’t that scary after all but that childrearing is incredibly challenging. I would tell her flowers wither and that almonds are really expensive to buy, and books aren’t something you ‘just’ write. Bet you’re all wondering what this board looks like aye?!

Girls, women, ladies – be sisters! I encourage you to reach out to each other. Mothers, have a girl to girl coffee date without your children. Wives, embrace the unattached women, you were once there. And the single ladies, experience fun with mothers, wiping bottoms isn't the only way they find fun! In 2014 let’s create unity among women from all walks of life. Let’s be the change and radiate love. Accept one another for who they are and let’s appreciate our differences, be it age, taste in fashion or career.

This year I am taking back the dreams that 15 year old Jessica dreamed in that board. 25 year old Jessica wonders if she’s a friend worthy likable character but 15 year old Jessica knows that she is exactly who God wanted her to be. 

Let’s be the sisterhood.

Fall in Love Again and Again...

One baby is okay, very manageable but 2 babies well that's a juggle. You are feeding one baby and hubby is wrangling the other baby who seems to have more energy than would be considered normal! You no longer hold hands with your sweetheart because someone is pushing the pram, holding the newborn or walking the child with ants in his pants.

When hubby gets home from work, it’s a passing kiss, quick hug and a sneaky pinch on the bum. It’s back to the stove where you've been cooking that Ossobuco for 3 hours, but surely it’s got to be done already!  You try to speed the process up cos it’s got to be on that Bunnykins plate asap and then has to be put in the freezer for a 1 min to cool. There are tiny fingers waiting anxiously for his dinner and it doesn't matter how many times you say the word "patience", he just aint getting it. So, out of the freezer and onto the table, we try and say grace as a family but we must keep one eye open for the little Bunnykins fork that is nearly poking us in the eye. Seriously, how do you teach a 16 month old patience! We chow down dinner and by now it’s nearing 6:30pm and that's a good thing. Rupert takes a book from the shelf and hops onto daddy's knee for his bedtime story in the bedroom. Daddy reads him the same book he chose the night before, and the night before that and… the night before that! But that's okay, daddy doesn't even need to read, he knows this book off by heart. Into bed, lights out and we're one down one more to go! A quick tidy up in the play room oops sorry no, that's actually our lounge and dinning but only takes a few minutes and we can see that.

Life is certainly fuller with children, it’s challenging, rewarding, tiring, fascinating and exciting and, whilst you may miss the good old days before babies, you never seem to regret having them.

The stats say that the divorce rate in mature age couples is rising. Parents have invested so much love and time into their children (not a bad thing) that once they're no longer living at home they discover their marriage to be somewhat estranged. Life has been so full and busy with raising children that they forgot to continue growing their relationship and friendship.

Matt and I haven't even been parents for 2 years and we already understand these stats. We have a good loving and committed relationship but we don't 'date' anymore. Holding the title of husband and wife and mother and father, we seem to think we're qualified for eternal love and happiness. Not so.

I believe in falling in love with just 'one' person but I also believe you need to fall in love with that person many times over.

 I fell head over heels for Matt when we were dating and it’s for that reason I wanted to know more about him. It’s called dating. But why is it that after marriage we no longer see the need to date and continue to get to know each other? After all we're still individuals and we are still growing and changing.

I am a wife before I'm a mother! My husband comes before my children and when my relationship with Matt is being nurtured and growing strong it allows us to be good parents. We can then be good examples of love and commitment to our sons.

When Matt and I were dating I asked him what his favourite food was, his answer was "donuts". A few years passed and I asked him again, the answer was still "donuts"! But then I asked him just a few days ago and his answer was no longer the same, his favourite food had changed. My husband’s favourite food was now "hot chips"(of all things)! If I had not asked I would have assumed donuts to be his favourite for many more years to come.

 I want to know my husband both through his unchanging habits and through his changing likes.

So, we've decided to date again! We're introducing date nights. A concept not unfamiliar to many of you but for us it is new. With the birth of Rupert we didn't seem to feel the need but when Samson came along we began to feel the stretch of marriage, it subtly becomes all about bedtime stories, dirty nappies, baby babel and milestones. But when there are no more dirty nappies and you no longer have little children to read bedtime stories to, what will we do with ourselves? We must start now. We must engage in each other’s interests together. We must continuously date and fall in love so that when we are old we can show that we weren't just committed by law but that we have always loved as husband and wife should.

We shall never fall out of love but we will constantly try to fall in love again and again.

As it’s a new month I have started to write up a date night planner.  We have chosen Monday nights to be our “date night” and as we intend to have our date nights at home because it is logistically and financially easier, we are having to be a little creative. But this is for another post. Stay tuned.

on one of our dates back in 2007 just weeks after the Darwin Show ordeal.