Church isn't a building. Its a family.

It’s been quite some time since my last post and, in that time I've considered if I wanted to keep my blog live or to shut it down and not have to wonder if I've got anything worth writing about for the cyber world to read.

Well, I probably don’t have a lot to say that would keep readers interested and coming back for more but, I've always wanted to write. I want to one day call myself an author of at least one book! I don’t care if I still don’t know what my book will be about or that I might be aged 90 by the time I write it and aged 95 by the time it’s published but… I dare to dream. So I’m going to keep my blog live and I’m going to write when I feel the urge because this blog is part of the bigger picture God has planned for my life. Not sure what?

Anyway, here I am with an urge and I’m going to write about community, church community. Let’s call it a letter to my church.

Dear church,

You are my family. One of us said that there is a letter with your name on it. Then another later said that the first line of that letter reads “To my dear child, I love you”.

Now I’m going to tell you what the second line says. It says, “You are enough”.

Regards.

Building family from church is sometimes hard. Let’s be honest, it’s exactly like blood family, you can’t always pick who they are! Just like your family, church family are the people God purposed for your life for, at the very least, this season. You may not be in the same stage of life as that person or the same age as this person or from the same place as another person but God put you in the same place with those people for such a time as this. He brought you together for this time so that you could show them a kind of love that only you can give and, for you to know a love that only they can give. God aligns people’s paths for a reason and sometimes it’s just to love one another.

Photo credit Matt Fong

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

John 13:34-35

We just came back from our church camp which ran from Friday afternoon till Sunday midday. It was a great weekend but it was also very challenging for my family. Having to keep our eyes peeled for the whereabouts of our little wandering munchkins who weren’t just wandering but also crying and whining. The nights were freezing and in fact the first night was reportedly Darwin’s coldest night of the year thus far. It was so cold that it felt like I only slept for a combined total of 30 minutes for the entire night. We had learnt from previous years camps that it gets very chilling at night so we were prepared this year [or so we thought].  But alas, not prepared enough, we were freezing our butts off, the boys were waking all throughout the night and my oh my the first rays of sunshine could not rise fast enough!

Now, there’s no other remedy quite like that of a good coffee and good company to set you straight for the day so, out of the depths of a freezing and sleepless night I emerged from our igloo and set my eyes upon that first morning coffee by the camp fire. But not before the changing of nappies, dressing of wriggling and crying children and, the serving of their breakfast. All sounds relatively simple but any parent reading will know what rigmarole that all is, let alone after a cold and sleepless night! 

Let’s continue.With the warmth of a morning campfire and the sipping of hot coffee the day brightens and I’m privileged to be spending the weekend with my wonderful church family.

A lovely couple in the church had prepared an amazing race for us all to participate in and the idea was that it would be a bonding exercise that would help us get to know each other a little better. It did exactly that and was a lot of fun… and also my exercise quota for the quarter!  

About half way through the race Matt fell to the evils of an unseen log! He tripped and bustered his foot which then, had him out of action for the rest of the camp. Sigh. My husband is an incredible help to me and especially when it comes to parenting our sons. We work as a team and we only run smoothly (like a bumpy kinda smooth) when we work together. I’m a stress head and he’s too far the opposite but together we’re some kind of balanced.

So, camp was hard work! But the beauty of it all was how amazing it was to see church family rally around supporting and helping each other and, so naturally.

People helped others pitch tents, they jiggled and bounced each other’s kids, they washed each other’s dishes and at the end of each night they communed by the camp fire with marshmallows on sticks.

It’s in this moment I realize that my church isn't a building. My church is a family. My church are the people.

Church, you are enough! Being yourself and the person God wants you to be is all that needs to be and, for you to love one another. Building community isn't just about being an awesome worship leader or serving up the yummiest church supper. It’s loving each other first. Its being present and its saying "use me God".

Sure, I believe people should get involved and serve in their church where they feel called to and, I do want to be part of church growth, not on the outside just ‘watching’ it all happen. But I was reminded by a dear friend last week (on a day I was busy fulfilling roles I had committed to) about something that was said on a Colour DVD we had previously watched. The speaker had said that “you are the gift, not what you do”. It was so timely for me to be reminded of that on a day where I’m wondering if the coffees I’m serving taste okay, if the birthday cake I’m about to make will be successful and if the church talk I’m preparing (or not preparing, rather winging) will be encouraging and not a ramble. I am enough. Just being me and loving and serving others is all God requires of me…  not the world’s best coffee, or a 3 tiered chocolate ganache cake or, a talk that’ll land me a book title.

So, when church campers loved and served each other over the weekend, and were just being themselves (BO and all) they also blessed each other. I am so thankful for each one of you and the love that you bring into our church family/community. I can know that whatever my struggles or achievements that I have people that I can love and share my journey with. I pray that anyone can walk into our church building and find the love of a family, not the draping of lavish curtains but instead an example of God’s love for his children. 

May Date Nights

Well hello there! My oh my it has been too long since I last blogged! So let me bring you all up to date. 

March date nights weren't blogged and it was actually a rather hit 'n' miss month for dating. Just proof that even the most [wannabe] organized of people fall short. 

If I remember correctly the couple of date nights we had were a movie and Chinese evening and on the other occasion we brought to life an old chair with a new paint job. The chair painting date was great for encouraging good conversation however, our topic of conversation turned to one that was a touchy subject. It became more of a frustrating date night rather then romantic! But we can laugh at it! Lets face it, marriage isn't always all about romance and, sometimes those frustrating conversations have to happen. Its more about 'how' we have them. Husband and wife won't always see eye to eye but its important to remain respectful whilst honest. Just another #imperfect moment in dating history. 

Anyway, life has also gotten the better of us this month so, we're going to let slide the next few weeks and resume our date nights next month in May. 

Its remembering that it's okay to go with the flow sometimes. Whilst date nights are of high importance we also don't want them to become chores. And of course we're not saying that it's a chore to spend time with our spouse but lets be real, sometimes we're just not feeling it. Some nights/weeks it would seem more relaxing to just chill out in front of the tv or bury our head in a book we're dying to read and finish because we're  mums and reading time is too precious! Anyone feeling me?

So while we've been going 'with the flow' these past two months it has also sparked reevaluation. Its time to stop and acknowledge that our priorities have made a slight shift and that's okay but, now we must re sort them. 

Date nights for May:

Week 1 - Workout session

Week 2 - Bake/make a cheesecake for dessert. Neither of us have done this before.

Week 3 - Fabric painting/printing on some plain tea towels.

Week 4 - Write a short letter [to each other] on your first impressions of each other.

Remember I would love to here your date ideas!

10 Things About the Man I Married

Behind every happy wife there is a hard working, patient and loving husband! It's no secret that we female creatures can be a puzzle for the men to figure out and, although hubby will probably never quite understand the 'female' ways he is nevertheless doing a great job of hiding it. Hehe.

So I thought I'd write a short post introducing you all to the man I love most.

Here are 10 things about my husband Matt.

1. He's a civil engineer working for a small private consulting firm here in the Northern Territory. He completed  his degree in 2010. Just 1 year after we married.

2. He's not really your 'handy home fix-it' kind of guy, he's more of a 'defrag your computer' man. He's all things tech savvy! He has attention to detail and therefore great at reading manuals and maps. Making the bed however... Nil attention to detail!

3. Matt had to buy new underwear on the day of our wedding because he had fallen that far behind in his washing. It was probably at that moment he was relieved to be taking a wife that day! Hehe.

4. He's a very talented musician. Every girls dream man but, before you think I get serenaded to everyday let me just say eh, it's happened twice. Wedding and 1st anniversary haha. But yes, a musician who plays saxophone, bass, electric and acoustic guitar, drums, percussion and sings. Before Samson's arrival he played timps and percussion for the Darwin symphony orchestra, and he also leads church music. Matt has a great appreciation for music of all different genres.

5. Like most men he enjoys his sports; rugby, cricket and tennis. Over the years he has played a bit of rugby and a lot of indoor cricket. 

6. If you and I were chatting over coffee and you asked if my husband was romantic, I'd probably hum and ha. But I do know for sure that he is undoubtedly in love with his wife [me] and, gives unconditional support and commitment to myself and our family. Oh and he does spoil me with flowers on a very regular basis, so somewhat romantic.

7. He's 25 years old (9 months older than myself) and has a younger brother and sister.

8. He's an amazing father to Rupert and Samson and has always been hands on and in the thick of all things pooey and drooly. It won't be possible for our children to reach adulthood and not know how blessed they were to have such a great father.

9. My husband is a Star Trek fan. Nothing more to say here. Oh wait, they call these fans trekkies, yep he's a trekky!

10. Matt's father is Chinese and his mother is Scottish English. In other words he's a hairy Asian!

Trips to the Show

Yesterday we took a family outing to the Royal Darwin Show. It was my third time going to the small country like show and it always brings back some funny memories. 

My first visit to the show was also my first date with Matt but I'll come back to that story in a bit. The second time we went to the show was the year I was pregnant with Rupert. I can recall Matt and I talking about how much more exciting it would be when we could bring our kids to the show. The dirty pens with ugly farm animals, the ginormous pumpkins, and the cheap worthless show bags would suddenly spark amazement in a small child's eyes. Well, two babies later we made our third trip to the show as parents but, before I tell you about how yesterday went let’s rewind back six years to 2007, my first visit to the Darwin Show.

In February 2007 I moved to Darwin and shortly afterwards met Matt through church and Uni events. We became friends. By about June/July our 'friendship' started to spark and before I knew it Matt was driving me to the Royal Darwin Show. 

I was feeling pretty good about this 'outing' to the show together and I made sure I was looking my best. I wore my long flowing hair out and had even purchased a new white top to wear. Little did I know about how much of a dust bowl this Darwin Show was, I was to soon find out it didn't even compare to the Sydney Royal Easter Show!

Back then I liked rides so, we bought some drinks and the adventure began. No food and one bottle of coke down we took to our third ride known as the 'Hurricane'. Big mistake! 

My mobile phone flew out of my bag, hitting Matt's head on its way to Timbuktu. I then began to feel very dizzy and light headed that I was soon leaning on Matt and could not compose myself. Matt was probably feeling a little bewildered by my sudden affection that had him squished to the side of the cart. Affection was not the intention, I felt as though I was dying and eventually I couldn't hold it in any longer. I vomited. And much vomit I vomited. As the Hurricane is still spinning in full motion my failed attempt to vomit over the outside of the cart resulted in the vomit flying back smack into my face, through my lovely long hair (that I wore out), onto my nice new white top, down my jeans and only just missing the people in the cart behind us! A lost phone, vomit all over me and barely able to walk, this was not going well. We headed for the toilets to get cleaned up but it got worse, we bumped into some friends of Matt's and with a face plastered in vomit I was introduced to them as his friend. Not cool and I've never been on another ride since!

Anyway we dated, became engaged and are now married; it didn't turn out too badly in the end. 

So, back to yesterdays visit to the show. It wasn't quite as great as I expected it to be, it seemed that Rupert was still just that bit too young to appreciate the animals and performances. He was fascinated at times and he did get to pat a baby chicken but was otherwise mostly restless and unhappy being stuck in the stroller. And when we had him out of the stroller he wanted to run among the crowds. It was was nice to be out on a family outing nonetheless and, we did get to enter some worthwhile competitions... fingers crossed!

Till next time... J x

Was It Everything I expected it to be?

Recently some girlfriends and I went and saw the new Aussie movie Goddess. It was a lovely somewhat light hearted movie which had its pros and cons. It was about a mother of twins who had put her career on hold to be the primary carer of her toddlers until they were school age and, the movie tells of her struggles of being home and of missing her love of singing and performing, her career that is.

It got me thinking about how I felt about being a stay at home mother after 14 months of not being at work and of continuously changing nappies, wiping drooling mouths, soothing teary eyes and rarely sleeping in past 7am?! Was motherhood all it was cracked up to be? Did I get any nasty reality checks that made me think "why am I here"? And did I miss having a job to go to outside of the home?

As I sat in the cinema asking myself if motherhood was all I expected it to be, I instantly came up with the answer "yes"! Although I've had/have many challenges and frustrations along the way (and more to come I'm sure) that, sometimes I even think it would be easier to work an 8 hour shift in the office, I still would not trade 'my stay at home mum' status for a million bucks. I don't miss work and I don't crave a career other then my calling to be a full time home maker. My family, my kitchen and my home are my career and I want to be constantly striving to be better at what I do.

As I continue to ponder my thoughts on having become a new mum just over 12 months ago I can't help but think that my 'empowering' experience as a first time mum would not have been so wonderful without the support of my husband, the backbone of our family. Although Matty in the kitchen cooking may cause a near domestic and for me to suffer a stress attack (hehe) he nevertheless is extremely helpful around the home. On days when he isn't working till past 7 he is otherwise home in time to give Rupert his dinner and shower (something I'm finding rather difficult to do at nearly 9 months pregnant). I am very thankful for the wonderful  husband and father he is.

What was becoming a first time mum like for you? Was is what you expected (whether you resumed work or stayed at home)? Are you a mum who likes her outside job or are you a mum who prefers to be at home? If there's one thing I've learnt its that we are all different and what works for one family may not for another.

Well I must sign off here as I have much to do!
Last night I was awake 3 times with a series of contractions or braxton hicks which started to worry me a little because, with Rupert I never got braxton hicks until days leading up to his birth! I have much more nesting to do before baby can come!
I haven't yet cleaned out the fridge or finished cleaning out a couple of draws, the floors haven't even been cleaned once this week ( I often do it twice a week), my legs needed shaving and my hair is unwashed! ... I'm just not ready yet!

Fong Family Update

Its been a little while since I wrote a post on how our little family is fairing so, here it is! A post to update you all on what we've been up to of late.

Matty and I have now been parents for several months and it has been quite the adventure. It seems like we've come such a long way since the early weeks and months of waking and feeding Rupert around the clock. Matty was so supportive. He only had one week off from work when Rupert was born and than it was back to the office. He not only worked all day but he was great at helping me out during the long nights with Rupert. And when the weekend came Matty would be up early with Rupert in the lounge room whilst I tried to catch a few extra Zzz's.

As the weeks progressed Rupert's routine changed and his feeds became less frequent, and before I knew it he was sleeping through at night.

Rupert is now 5 months old and what a joy he is! He is an overall happy baby who sleeps 7-9 hours every night and has regular naps during the day. I have my guiding books "On Becoming Baby Wise" and "Calm Baby, Confident Mum" to thank for that. As well as my wonderful network of friends on and off facebook, who have given me endless support. 

Rupert is still fully breastfed and we have just recently started to introduce solids. So far he is eating rice cereal and banana. He sits at the table in his high chair so tall and proud, he loves it! I'm really looking forward to introducing some more foods such as mashed potato and pumpkin over the next week. 

The little guy has also become very mobile, dragging himself around the floor and rocking on his knees in attempt to crawl. Its very exciting watching him develop and change. He loves to chat, giggle and have the occasional laughing fit. Rupert enjoys story time when he gets to sit and listen to pages of a book come alive. And his eyes light up when he gets to see daddy at the end of the day. 

Matty is still a busy man working as an engineer, performing with the Darwin Symphony Orchestra and leading on the church music team. His mum and sister also play in the orchestra so Rupert and I along with my father in-law, usually find ourselves enjoying regular concerts. 

As for me, I'm enjoying not being too busy with this and that and loving being a mum. I attend a Zumba class where I can and I look forward to Friday mornings mothers group. I also arrange a monthly ladies get together for our church Sisterhood.

I enjoy trying new recipes and also cooking with the fresh herbs from my garden. 

We have not made any recent trips south to visit family. But just recently, Matty's brother Stuart and his pretty lady Siobhan were up visiting so it was lovely catching up with them. My mother has visited and both mum and dad visited for Rupert's dedication back in May. There are many family members who are still to meet Rupert so, we look forward to traveling south of the Territory for a holiday later this year. :-)

Well, that's all from me. Till next time.