Fall in Love Again and Again...

One baby is okay, very manageable but 2 babies well that's a juggle. You are feeding one baby and hubby is wrangling the other baby who seems to have more energy than would be considered normal! You no longer hold hands with your sweetheart because someone is pushing the pram, holding the newborn or walking the child with ants in his pants.

When hubby gets home from work, it’s a passing kiss, quick hug and a sneaky pinch on the bum. It’s back to the stove where you've been cooking that Ossobuco for 3 hours, but surely it’s got to be done already!  You try to speed the process up cos it’s got to be on that Bunnykins plate asap and then has to be put in the freezer for a 1 min to cool. There are tiny fingers waiting anxiously for his dinner and it doesn't matter how many times you say the word "patience", he just aint getting it. So, out of the freezer and onto the table, we try and say grace as a family but we must keep one eye open for the little Bunnykins fork that is nearly poking us in the eye. Seriously, how do you teach a 16 month old patience! We chow down dinner and by now it’s nearing 6:30pm and that's a good thing. Rupert takes a book from the shelf and hops onto daddy's knee for his bedtime story in the bedroom. Daddy reads him the same book he chose the night before, and the night before that and… the night before that! But that's okay, daddy doesn't even need to read, he knows this book off by heart. Into bed, lights out and we're one down one more to go! A quick tidy up in the play room oops sorry no, that's actually our lounge and dinning but only takes a few minutes and we can see that.

Life is certainly fuller with children, it’s challenging, rewarding, tiring, fascinating and exciting and, whilst you may miss the good old days before babies, you never seem to regret having them.

The stats say that the divorce rate in mature age couples is rising. Parents have invested so much love and time into their children (not a bad thing) that once they're no longer living at home they discover their marriage to be somewhat estranged. Life has been so full and busy with raising children that they forgot to continue growing their relationship and friendship.

Matt and I haven't even been parents for 2 years and we already understand these stats. We have a good loving and committed relationship but we don't 'date' anymore. Holding the title of husband and wife and mother and father, we seem to think we're qualified for eternal love and happiness. Not so.

I believe in falling in love with just 'one' person but I also believe you need to fall in love with that person many times over.

 I fell head over heels for Matt when we were dating and it’s for that reason I wanted to know more about him. It’s called dating. But why is it that after marriage we no longer see the need to date and continue to get to know each other? After all we're still individuals and we are still growing and changing.

I am a wife before I'm a mother! My husband comes before my children and when my relationship with Matt is being nurtured and growing strong it allows us to be good parents. We can then be good examples of love and commitment to our sons.

When Matt and I were dating I asked him what his favourite food was, his answer was "donuts". A few years passed and I asked him again, the answer was still "donuts"! But then I asked him just a few days ago and his answer was no longer the same, his favourite food had changed. My husband’s favourite food was now "hot chips"(of all things)! If I had not asked I would have assumed donuts to be his favourite for many more years to come.

 I want to know my husband both through his unchanging habits and through his changing likes.

So, we've decided to date again! We're introducing date nights. A concept not unfamiliar to many of you but for us it is new. With the birth of Rupert we didn't seem to feel the need but when Samson came along we began to feel the stretch of marriage, it subtly becomes all about bedtime stories, dirty nappies, baby babel and milestones. But when there are no more dirty nappies and you no longer have little children to read bedtime stories to, what will we do with ourselves? We must start now. We must engage in each other’s interests together. We must continuously date and fall in love so that when we are old we can show that we weren't just committed by law but that we have always loved as husband and wife should.

We shall never fall out of love but we will constantly try to fall in love again and again.

As it’s a new month I have started to write up a date night planner.  We have chosen Monday nights to be our “date night” and as we intend to have our date nights at home because it is logistically and financially easier, we are having to be a little creative. But this is for another post. Stay tuned.

on one of our dates back in 2007 just weeks after the Darwin Show ordeal.

Once a Month Cooking

When we had Rupert the three of us spent 5 days in hospital with delicious meals brought to my bedside each day. But when it was time to leave and bring our little one home and Matty was to return to work, reality set in and, I didn't know how on earth I would manage cooking as well as being a new mum! Somehow the thought of cooking was one that was very overwhelming. 

We were so grateful for our church family who cooked us yummy meals which kept coming for about 2 weeks... so very blessed.

This time round I decided to plan ahead. I spent a weekend cooking meal after meal and it was the best thing I could have done. Samson is over 2 weeks old and I still haven't had the need to cook. I cooked enough to cover us for about a month. Although I certainly feel that I would be capable of cooking if had to (definitely not as overwhelming second time round), its just nice to not have to worry in these early weeks. 

The idea of 'once a month' cooking and meal planning has worked so well that I think I might do it on a regular basis, not every month but possibly every second month.

On my weekend of cooking I created a very delicious and easy recipe for 'Honey Mustard Drumsticks' - thats what you do when you haven't got the 'Chicken Tonight' jar in your cupboard. Hehe.

Honey Mustard Drumsticks Author Mama Essy (Jessica Kartawidjaja-Fong)

Ingredients

8-10 chicken drumsticks

1 1/2 tbl Whole grain mustard

1 tbl Dijon mustard

1 tbl white vinegar

2 tsp mixed herbs

1/4 cup honey

Method

Combine all ingredients together. Mix well and pour over drumsticks. Bake in a glass baking dish until cooked through (I think it took about 40-50 mins in our oven).

Tip: make marinade ahead of time, place in a bag with drumsticks, mix through and store in the fridge for 2 hours before baking.

Our Newest Addition

Well its been a little while since my last post so I thought I better not delay any longer and give you all a quick update. If you've liked my Facebook Page you're probably already up to date with my regular happenings.

I actually started writing this post a few days ago and was going to give a slightly more detailed post on the pregnancy and birth of our newest addition. However, I've since felt that its okay to not disclose 'everything'. To be honest, giving birth is something I know to be very traumatic and, that doesn't mean I've had terrible birthing experiences, its actually quite the opposite. I consider both of my babies births to have been very smooth but, there's something about the experience that makes me want to shudder at the very thought. And just thinking about it makes me almost cry to remember the pain and hardship that natural childbirth is. Both my pregnancies had its challenges and hurdles to overcome but, I am thankful that nothing is too big for my God. He has shone His grace and mercies through the skills of my obstrician and midwives.

So now I will introduce to you... Samson Brian! 

Born via natural birth with no drugs on Tuesday 30th April 2013 at 12:20pm. Weighing 3.08kg and 48cm long. He is our little olive skinned baby with almost black hair and dark brown eyes. He is perfect in every way, not that I would expect any less from a creator who sends us everything good and perfect! And not always what we might consider perfect but what he gives us to show us what it is to be perfect in the eyes of God. I say this because I'm aware that there are parents out their who's babes may have been born with a condition that challenges them and, may think that its well and good for me to say how perfect my healthy child is and that I don't know what it is to see them suffer. I don't know. But I know that whatever challenges are put in my/our path, are there to strengthen my character and trust in God.

Our little family is most grateful to God for blessing us with another son and brother for Rupert. 

40 weeks

1 day old

Samson's 1st bath

Was It Everything I expected it to be?

Recently some girlfriends and I went and saw the new Aussie movie Goddess. It was a lovely somewhat light hearted movie which had its pros and cons. It was about a mother of twins who had put her career on hold to be the primary carer of her toddlers until they were school age and, the movie tells of her struggles of being home and of missing her love of singing and performing, her career that is.

It got me thinking about how I felt about being a stay at home mother after 14 months of not being at work and of continuously changing nappies, wiping drooling mouths, soothing teary eyes and rarely sleeping in past 7am?! Was motherhood all it was cracked up to be? Did I get any nasty reality checks that made me think "why am I here"? And did I miss having a job to go to outside of the home?

As I sat in the cinema asking myself if motherhood was all I expected it to be, I instantly came up with the answer "yes"! Although I've had/have many challenges and frustrations along the way (and more to come I'm sure) that, sometimes I even think it would be easier to work an 8 hour shift in the office, I still would not trade 'my stay at home mum' status for a million bucks. I don't miss work and I don't crave a career other then my calling to be a full time home maker. My family, my kitchen and my home are my career and I want to be constantly striving to be better at what I do.

As I continue to ponder my thoughts on having become a new mum just over 12 months ago I can't help but think that my 'empowering' experience as a first time mum would not have been so wonderful without the support of my husband, the backbone of our family. Although Matty in the kitchen cooking may cause a near domestic and for me to suffer a stress attack (hehe) he nevertheless is extremely helpful around the home. On days when he isn't working till past 7 he is otherwise home in time to give Rupert his dinner and shower (something I'm finding rather difficult to do at nearly 9 months pregnant). I am very thankful for the wonderful  husband and father he is.

What was becoming a first time mum like for you? Was is what you expected (whether you resumed work or stayed at home)? Are you a mum who likes her outside job or are you a mum who prefers to be at home? If there's one thing I've learnt its that we are all different and what works for one family may not for another.

Well I must sign off here as I have much to do!
Last night I was awake 3 times with a series of contractions or braxton hicks which started to worry me a little because, with Rupert I never got braxton hicks until days leading up to his birth! I have much more nesting to do before baby can come!
I haven't yet cleaned out the fridge or finished cleaning out a couple of draws, the floors haven't even been cleaned once this week ( I often do it twice a week), my legs needed shaving and my hair is unwashed! ... I'm just not ready yet!

Preparing for Our New Addition

So with just 6 weeks to go I think it's due time I organised my bag for the hospital!

 I don't claim to be an expert after just having one baby however, I'm feeling a lot more prepared mentally and know what to expect this time round. 

I know that in my bag I will need:

• fruit. 
• lollies.
• light snacks.
• own water bottle - the plastic cups can be a little small and flimsy for such an active event!
• large box of disposable nursing pads - don't know about you but new mum's can make a ton of milk and those pads need changing many times a day! And unlike the cloth pads (which are good when your milk flow slows down) they also prevent leaking through your clothes.
• cotton nightie with spaghetti straps - great for when your getting in and out of the bath because you can just hitch it up. Also easy to slip off the shoulder for babies first feed.
• gym pants or tights - I found these to be the comfiest after labour. They sit firm around your belly which, feels good when the skin is loose and you still look 4- 6 months pregnant. Its a good idea if they are black (pads don't always hold everything) and if you wear long tops over them. Visitors don't want to see how big those maternity pads are! 
• comfy maternity bra.
• slippers and socks.
• maternity pads - several packets, no explanation needed!
• make-up is a must for me! I was in hospital for 5 days with Rupert and it was so nice to get up each morning and make myself look pretty, which then made me feel good. 
• body wash - the most beautiful smelling wash you can find. Nothing too strong (subtle is best) and no perfumes but something that will make you feel like a gorgeous mama.
• change of clothes for hubby - even if your only in hospital for the day. Changing newborns nappies can be messy!
• beanie for bub. 
• size 0000 wondersuit - several if your going to be in hospital for a few days.
• baby singlet.
• baby socks or booties - hospitals are freezing!
• blanket/muslin wrap or in my case I'll be packing an Ergo Cocoon  - they are magic!
• baby thermometer - not needed at the hospital but something you should have handy at home.
• disposable nappies - cloth nappies are provided while your in hospital and are preferred for the first several days so, you can easily monitor babies "movements" but you'll need your own nappy for the ride home.

Well I think I'll end my list there. No doubt there are a few things missing but otherwise a good start for packing my bag for the hospital.

Comment with your own packing tips and preferences. This is what I've come up with after my experience with Rupert but every mum is different and, I'd love to know what worked for you.

Mama Essy

Rupert the day he was born.

Wibbly Wobbly Walking Tiny Teddy Bear

My recent post What Christmas Means For Our Family, only written a couple of days ago tells of Rupert learning to walk and, taking odd steps unassisted here and there. 

Well yesterday the little guy walked! Not just 1 or 2 steps but he was walking short distances across the lounge room unassisted. Matty and I were very excited to watch Rupert wobble along on his own two feet. I was so excited that even after we put him down for bed, I wanted to wake him to experience the thrill all over again. 

This morning I was concerned he may have forgotten his triumph of the night before but it was not so, much to my joy. So here we have a [nearly] 10 mo (who looks more like a 6mo, hence why I refer to him as our 'tiny teddy bear') wobbling around the home.

Now, an update on the Christmas baking which I am having oh so much fun with!

Earlier this week I made my first Christmas Cake and it does look great but... I don't eat fruit cake and I can't stand the smell of it! I figured I needed to do it once in my life, and well, hubby can spend the next 6 months getting through it.

It's not particularly Christmas-sy but it did taste great so I'll give it a mention. On Monday I made a Chocolate Walnut slice in my new Tupperware silicone form and it tasted GREAT! I've never really been into making slices as they seem to be somewhat fiddly when moving from the tin to the container. With the silicone form I don't even have to cut the slice prior to moving it! I thought it was great. 

On Wednesday I spent the afternoon with my 2 sister in-laws decorating gingerbread houses and a gingerbread train. I felt like I was cheating myself a little as I have previously made and shaped the gingerbread from scratch but, this year I was not in the mood for 'complicated' and really only wanted to participate in the decorating side of things. We bought the gingerbread house and train kits from Coles and... well... they don't taste nearly as good as our homemade gingerbread but, they did look FABULOUS! 

To talk about something that does taste great would be to tell you that today I have made the first Pavlova for the year. Its actually still in the oven but looks to be doing great and the batter tasted amazing. I love making pavs and it was something I did a bit of when growing up in NSW. However, since living in Darwin I only ever make a pav at Christmas time (whats Christmas without a pav?). The humid weather here in Darwin is too often the cause of many flopped or flat pavlovas. Last year I made 2 successfully which I believe was the result of trying a different recipe, and maybe not cooking on an extremely warm and humid day. If you get the pavlova blues then maybe give this recipe a go. 

Marshmallow Pavlova

Taken from Women's Weekly Classic Cooking cookbook.

4 eggs

1 cup caster sugar

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

3/4 tsp white vinegar

300 ml thickened cream, whipped

Fruit for topping

1 Preheat oven to 120c/100c fan-forced. Line oven tray with foil; grease foil, dust with cornflour, shake away excess. Mark 18cm-circle on foil

2 Beat egg whites in small bowl with electric mixer until soft peaks form; gradually add sugar, beating until sugar dissolves, Add extract and vinegar; beat until combined. 

3 Spread meringue into circle on foil, building up at the side to 8 cm in height. Smooth side and top of pavlova gently. Using spatula blade, mark decorative grooves around side of pavlova; smooth top again.

4 Bake pavlova about 1 1/2 hrs. Turn oven off; cool pavlova in oven with door ajar.

5 Cut around top edge of pavlova (the crisp meringue top will fall on top of the marshmallow centre . Serve pavlova topped with whipped cream, and desired fruit.

1 of 2 last years pav using the recipes 'marshmallow' design. Excuse the over-whipped cream!

2 of 2 last years pav, using my usual traditional design.