My Storyboard. My Dreams.

I am a huge fan of Pinterest! It takes me back to the days when I was studying for my diploma in fashion and, I among other students, sat around flicking through magazines [of any kind] in search of inspiration for our next clothing design. We cut, we pasted, and voila… a storyboard that represented a theme. The theme represented our own taste, thoughts, emotions and likes. They may have been someone else’s pictures but we ‘chose’ them.

One of the very first storyboards I created was one that had to represent who I was as a person. I was 15 when I created it and it has hung above our bed for a long time, it reminds me of the person that I am supposed to be. I think back to when I was 15 and I remember how young I was, having completed my schooling and now an emerging fashion student at TAFE. I was so raw and so pure in my thoughts and style. I drew from the current trends but I was never ruled by them. I wore what I liked! I also giggle a little because there were hairstyles and outfits where I now think “what on earth was I thinking?!” but I was my own.

Sometimes I feel so far from who I am. I get caught up in wondering what I ‘should’ be, and the person people want to see. My clothing style is still all mine, I feel no pressure there but my personality, my job status and my dreams all feel stretched and tormented. Will people like me for the person I am?

I look at my storyboard and I see that 15 year old Jessica was a girl with classic and feminine taste, she dreamed of being a wife and the story says she wanted to be a mother also. 15 year old Jessica wanted to represent womanhood and she stood for the sisterhood. She wanted the pretty things of the world to be appreciated. She wanted to have love all around her but, most of all she wanted to generate and radiate that love. 15 year old Jessica tells me that good friendships were incredibly hard to find and build. But as I glance at her board she says that she’ll still be the person she is and the person God created her to be, no matter what. No compromises.

Whilst I may have changed a little over the past 10 years I am no less the girl represented in that storyboard.

I can learn many things by looking back at that board but I know I could teach her a few things too. I would tell 15 year old Jessica that a pearl ring is an impractical engagement ring. I would tell her that age would not make friendships easier to build, and that flower crowns and flowing white dresses would not make a sisterhood. I would tell her that marriage wasn’t all about French kissing and skipping through fields. I would tell her that childbirth isn’t that scary after all but that childrearing is incredibly challenging. I would tell her flowers wither and that almonds are really expensive to buy, and books aren’t something you ‘just’ write. Bet you’re all wondering what this board looks like aye?!

Girls, women, ladies – be sisters! I encourage you to reach out to each other. Mothers, have a girl to girl coffee date without your children. Wives, embrace the unattached women, you were once there. And the single ladies, experience fun with mothers, wiping bottoms isn't the only way they find fun! In 2014 let’s create unity among women from all walks of life. Let’s be the change and radiate love. Accept one another for who they are and let’s appreciate our differences, be it age, taste in fashion or career.

This year I am taking back the dreams that 15 year old Jessica dreamed in that board. 25 year old Jessica wonders if she’s a friend worthy likable character but 15 year old Jessica knows that she is exactly who God wanted her to be. 

Let’s be the sisterhood.

Not Fake, Choosing the Positives

I recently read this article on iVillage and it prompted me to write about why I don't post all the bad bits. I read through the comments that others posted on the article and they were mostly negative toward the writer. I'm not quite sure why it was even titled "Why I fake it on Facebook" because from what I read it just sounded like this mum only shared the good bits, and avoided posting the negative bits.

Well, I'm the same and I agree with this mum [writer]. I don't post all the 'bad' bits either. Nobody needs to know that I forgot to change a nappy before putting bubs to bed or that my 18 mo still can't say 8 words like the charts/stats say he should, or that I've had the same load of washing in the machine for 3 days now!  I know I'm not the perfect mother but I already know that I'm a wonderful mum trying to do my best! That's what we're all doing, right? Doing our utmost best for our children who we love dearly. And if I never saw a negative post from a mum on Facebook I don't assume she's perfect or that shes never served up a Vegemite sandwich for dinner. I think she's just another great mum powering on in her role as mother and that she chose to see and post the good above the bad! 

When I do have bad days I usually make a call or shoot a text to a close friend who's also a mother. Another mum who totally gets that you're in tears because you've been up all night with a baby and you've just yelled at your toddler for - you're not sure what! She's had those days and moments too. 

Why set myself up for judgment and negative criticism by posting to the world! Or why should I post in hope that I'll attract enough attention for people to tell me how good a mother I am and, so that I get a bunch of people sending me messages asking me if I'm alright or need something. But most of the time I don't want or need someone to rescue me I just need an understanding ear. If I'm not alright and I want to talk about it then I should initiate that.  

The [not so secret] truth is, that being a parent is damn hard sometimes! And just today I've had a rough morning! I've got two sick babies who are also out of whack because they both had immunizations on Friday and, I am so tired and sleep deprived because my normally sleeping baby wants my attention at 2 hr intervals! Whilst hanging out the washing that had been in the machine since Monday, Rupert got filthy dirty playing with the pot plants, and in my attempt to wash him in the shower he also peed on the bathroom floor and proceeded to walk through it with his dirty feet. That's just part of my morning. It's also just all normal everyday kid stuff but on those off days it all seems bigger then Ben Hur! 

I am not a perfect mother but I try to choose the positive route. I don't want my facebook page to be a whinge-fest just to prove I'm human. All us mums already know what it's really like behind closed doors anyway. We know non of us have it all together, even if it appeared that way. 

I'm honest about my imperfections with others and I love learning from other mums too. Social media just isn't always the right place for it on a continuous or regular basis. 

So whilst I've just shared about my mundane rough morning as a mum (which I will not be posting to facebook) I also want to share my positive 'tidbit' from today. The picture you see at the top of this post, are wooden play eggs lined up on the tv cabinet. I was so delighted when I turned my head from the laptop to hear and see my Rupert bear counting (in baby lingo) as he placed halved eggs side by side. It was both cute and clever. This is the 'bit' I choose to dwell on and remember.

Fall in Love Again and Again...

One baby is okay, very manageable but 2 babies well that's a juggle. You are feeding one baby and hubby is wrangling the other baby who seems to have more energy than would be considered normal! You no longer hold hands with your sweetheart because someone is pushing the pram, holding the newborn or walking the child with ants in his pants.

When hubby gets home from work, it’s a passing kiss, quick hug and a sneaky pinch on the bum. It’s back to the stove where you've been cooking that Ossobuco for 3 hours, but surely it’s got to be done already!  You try to speed the process up cos it’s got to be on that Bunnykins plate asap and then has to be put in the freezer for a 1 min to cool. There are tiny fingers waiting anxiously for his dinner and it doesn't matter how many times you say the word "patience", he just aint getting it. So, out of the freezer and onto the table, we try and say grace as a family but we must keep one eye open for the little Bunnykins fork that is nearly poking us in the eye. Seriously, how do you teach a 16 month old patience! We chow down dinner and by now it’s nearing 6:30pm and that's a good thing. Rupert takes a book from the shelf and hops onto daddy's knee for his bedtime story in the bedroom. Daddy reads him the same book he chose the night before, and the night before that and… the night before that! But that's okay, daddy doesn't even need to read, he knows this book off by heart. Into bed, lights out and we're one down one more to go! A quick tidy up in the play room oops sorry no, that's actually our lounge and dinning but only takes a few minutes and we can see that.

Life is certainly fuller with children, it’s challenging, rewarding, tiring, fascinating and exciting and, whilst you may miss the good old days before babies, you never seem to regret having them.

The stats say that the divorce rate in mature age couples is rising. Parents have invested so much love and time into their children (not a bad thing) that once they're no longer living at home they discover their marriage to be somewhat estranged. Life has been so full and busy with raising children that they forgot to continue growing their relationship and friendship.

Matt and I haven't even been parents for 2 years and we already understand these stats. We have a good loving and committed relationship but we don't 'date' anymore. Holding the title of husband and wife and mother and father, we seem to think we're qualified for eternal love and happiness. Not so.

I believe in falling in love with just 'one' person but I also believe you need to fall in love with that person many times over.

 I fell head over heels for Matt when we were dating and it’s for that reason I wanted to know more about him. It’s called dating. But why is it that after marriage we no longer see the need to date and continue to get to know each other? After all we're still individuals and we are still growing and changing.

I am a wife before I'm a mother! My husband comes before my children and when my relationship with Matt is being nurtured and growing strong it allows us to be good parents. We can then be good examples of love and commitment to our sons.

When Matt and I were dating I asked him what his favourite food was, his answer was "donuts". A few years passed and I asked him again, the answer was still "donuts"! But then I asked him just a few days ago and his answer was no longer the same, his favourite food had changed. My husband’s favourite food was now "hot chips"(of all things)! If I had not asked I would have assumed donuts to be his favourite for many more years to come.

 I want to know my husband both through his unchanging habits and through his changing likes.

So, we've decided to date again! We're introducing date nights. A concept not unfamiliar to many of you but for us it is new. With the birth of Rupert we didn't seem to feel the need but when Samson came along we began to feel the stretch of marriage, it subtly becomes all about bedtime stories, dirty nappies, baby babel and milestones. But when there are no more dirty nappies and you no longer have little children to read bedtime stories to, what will we do with ourselves? We must start now. We must engage in each other’s interests together. We must continuously date and fall in love so that when we are old we can show that we weren't just committed by law but that we have always loved as husband and wife should.

We shall never fall out of love but we will constantly try to fall in love again and again.

As it’s a new month I have started to write up a date night planner.  We have chosen Monday nights to be our “date night” and as we intend to have our date nights at home because it is logistically and financially easier, we are having to be a little creative. But this is for another post. Stay tuned.

on one of our dates back in 2007 just weeks after the Darwin Show ordeal.

Our Newest Addition

Well its been a little while since my last post so I thought I better not delay any longer and give you all a quick update. If you've liked my Facebook Page you're probably already up to date with my regular happenings.

I actually started writing this post a few days ago and was going to give a slightly more detailed post on the pregnancy and birth of our newest addition. However, I've since felt that its okay to not disclose 'everything'. To be honest, giving birth is something I know to be very traumatic and, that doesn't mean I've had terrible birthing experiences, its actually quite the opposite. I consider both of my babies births to have been very smooth but, there's something about the experience that makes me want to shudder at the very thought. And just thinking about it makes me almost cry to remember the pain and hardship that natural childbirth is. Both my pregnancies had its challenges and hurdles to overcome but, I am thankful that nothing is too big for my God. He has shone His grace and mercies through the skills of my obstrician and midwives.

So now I will introduce to you... Samson Brian! 

Born via natural birth with no drugs on Tuesday 30th April 2013 at 12:20pm. Weighing 3.08kg and 48cm long. He is our little olive skinned baby with almost black hair and dark brown eyes. He is perfect in every way, not that I would expect any less from a creator who sends us everything good and perfect! And not always what we might consider perfect but what he gives us to show us what it is to be perfect in the eyes of God. I say this because I'm aware that there are parents out their who's babes may have been born with a condition that challenges them and, may think that its well and good for me to say how perfect my healthy child is and that I don't know what it is to see them suffer. I don't know. But I know that whatever challenges are put in my/our path, are there to strengthen my character and trust in God.

Our little family is most grateful to God for blessing us with another son and brother for Rupert. 

40 weeks

1 day old

Samson's 1st bath

Was It Everything I expected it to be?

Recently some girlfriends and I went and saw the new Aussie movie Goddess. It was a lovely somewhat light hearted movie which had its pros and cons. It was about a mother of twins who had put her career on hold to be the primary carer of her toddlers until they were school age and, the movie tells of her struggles of being home and of missing her love of singing and performing, her career that is.

It got me thinking about how I felt about being a stay at home mother after 14 months of not being at work and of continuously changing nappies, wiping drooling mouths, soothing teary eyes and rarely sleeping in past 7am?! Was motherhood all it was cracked up to be? Did I get any nasty reality checks that made me think "why am I here"? And did I miss having a job to go to outside of the home?

As I sat in the cinema asking myself if motherhood was all I expected it to be, I instantly came up with the answer "yes"! Although I've had/have many challenges and frustrations along the way (and more to come I'm sure) that, sometimes I even think it would be easier to work an 8 hour shift in the office, I still would not trade 'my stay at home mum' status for a million bucks. I don't miss work and I don't crave a career other then my calling to be a full time home maker. My family, my kitchen and my home are my career and I want to be constantly striving to be better at what I do.

As I continue to ponder my thoughts on having become a new mum just over 12 months ago I can't help but think that my 'empowering' experience as a first time mum would not have been so wonderful without the support of my husband, the backbone of our family. Although Matty in the kitchen cooking may cause a near domestic and for me to suffer a stress attack (hehe) he nevertheless is extremely helpful around the home. On days when he isn't working till past 7 he is otherwise home in time to give Rupert his dinner and shower (something I'm finding rather difficult to do at nearly 9 months pregnant). I am very thankful for the wonderful  husband and father he is.

What was becoming a first time mum like for you? Was is what you expected (whether you resumed work or stayed at home)? Are you a mum who likes her outside job or are you a mum who prefers to be at home? If there's one thing I've learnt its that we are all different and what works for one family may not for another.

Well I must sign off here as I have much to do!
Last night I was awake 3 times with a series of contractions or braxton hicks which started to worry me a little because, with Rupert I never got braxton hicks until days leading up to his birth! I have much more nesting to do before baby can come!
I haven't yet cleaned out the fridge or finished cleaning out a couple of draws, the floors haven't even been cleaned once this week ( I often do it twice a week), my legs needed shaving and my hair is unwashed! ... I'm just not ready yet!

Preparing for Our New Addition

So with just 6 weeks to go I think it's due time I organised my bag for the hospital!

 I don't claim to be an expert after just having one baby however, I'm feeling a lot more prepared mentally and know what to expect this time round. 

I know that in my bag I will need:

• fruit. 
• lollies.
• light snacks.
• own water bottle - the plastic cups can be a little small and flimsy for such an active event!
• large box of disposable nursing pads - don't know about you but new mum's can make a ton of milk and those pads need changing many times a day! And unlike the cloth pads (which are good when your milk flow slows down) they also prevent leaking through your clothes.
• cotton nightie with spaghetti straps - great for when your getting in and out of the bath because you can just hitch it up. Also easy to slip off the shoulder for babies first feed.
• gym pants or tights - I found these to be the comfiest after labour. They sit firm around your belly which, feels good when the skin is loose and you still look 4- 6 months pregnant. Its a good idea if they are black (pads don't always hold everything) and if you wear long tops over them. Visitors don't want to see how big those maternity pads are! 
• comfy maternity bra.
• slippers and socks.
• maternity pads - several packets, no explanation needed!
• make-up is a must for me! I was in hospital for 5 days with Rupert and it was so nice to get up each morning and make myself look pretty, which then made me feel good. 
• body wash - the most beautiful smelling wash you can find. Nothing too strong (subtle is best) and no perfumes but something that will make you feel like a gorgeous mama.
• change of clothes for hubby - even if your only in hospital for the day. Changing newborns nappies can be messy!
• beanie for bub. 
• size 0000 wondersuit - several if your going to be in hospital for a few days.
• baby singlet.
• baby socks or booties - hospitals are freezing!
• blanket/muslin wrap or in my case I'll be packing an Ergo Cocoon  - they are magic!
• baby thermometer - not needed at the hospital but something you should have handy at home.
• disposable nappies - cloth nappies are provided while your in hospital and are preferred for the first several days so, you can easily monitor babies "movements" but you'll need your own nappy for the ride home.

Well I think I'll end my list there. No doubt there are a few things missing but otherwise a good start for packing my bag for the hospital.

Comment with your own packing tips and preferences. This is what I've come up with after my experience with Rupert but every mum is different and, I'd love to know what worked for you.

Mama Essy

Rupert the day he was born.

Still Alive and Kicking!

Hi there readers, 

It has been quite some time since my last post but, life just seemed to progress quicker then I could document it! So I am here to update you all. 

Over the past few months I have been feeling very tired and unwell but its a good kind of sick... it's a precious new baby on the way! Whilst my Julie and Julia Challenge has been put on the back burner I have been baking a new bun in the oven, who will be gracing us with his or her presence in April 2013. Although it is very exciting news it has also been a little hard with the morning (more like all day) sickness. I don't recall feeling so sick for so long with Rupert as I am already 16 weeks and still feeling very sick. Then again my [early] pregnancy with Rupert was very different to this little one. We've had our first scan and all is doing very well. 

Rupert is also doing just fabulously at nearly 9 months old! He's a tiny little guy but sleeps beautifully, has tooth #7 on its way through, standing unassisted and even walking by himself with the assistance of his wooden wagon. He can say dad, dadda and a lot of other jibba jabba. I don't think the word mummy is going to happen anytime soon but I'm okay with that because I know that once he starts, he will surely wear it out! 

I was really hoping to breastfeed Rupert until he was 12 months old but as my pregnancy progresses I have decided now is the right time to start weaning. It may also give my body just a tad bit more energy. Oh and I will be glad to NOT being bitten by a mouth of little teeth anymore hehe. 

Rupert refused the formula in a bottle so I tried it in the sippy cup and although it took a bit of time and fussing he did eventually finish most of the milk. If you have any weaning tips I would LOVE your advice. 

Matty is doing well and working hard to bring home the bacon as usual. Nothing new here really. 

In late October we traveled to Sydney for the weekend of my mum's wedding and also her 60th birthday. It was lovely to see all the family again and to catch up with some dear friends. We will be back in Sydney over Christmas before flying home via Adelaide for the New Year. It too will be a great trip for hanging with family, chatting with friends, a visit to the zoo and other random holiday activities.

Anyway time to tend to other things. I hope to post again soon

xxx

Fong Family Update

Its been a little while since I wrote a post on how our little family is fairing so, here it is! A post to update you all on what we've been up to of late.

Matty and I have now been parents for several months and it has been quite the adventure. It seems like we've come such a long way since the early weeks and months of waking and feeding Rupert around the clock. Matty was so supportive. He only had one week off from work when Rupert was born and than it was back to the office. He not only worked all day but he was great at helping me out during the long nights with Rupert. And when the weekend came Matty would be up early with Rupert in the lounge room whilst I tried to catch a few extra Zzz's.

As the weeks progressed Rupert's routine changed and his feeds became less frequent, and before I knew it he was sleeping through at night.

Rupert is now 5 months old and what a joy he is! He is an overall happy baby who sleeps 7-9 hours every night and has regular naps during the day. I have my guiding books "On Becoming Baby Wise" and "Calm Baby, Confident Mum" to thank for that. As well as my wonderful network of friends on and off facebook, who have given me endless support. 

Rupert is still fully breastfed and we have just recently started to introduce solids. So far he is eating rice cereal and banana. He sits at the table in his high chair so tall and proud, he loves it! I'm really looking forward to introducing some more foods such as mashed potato and pumpkin over the next week. 

The little guy has also become very mobile, dragging himself around the floor and rocking on his knees in attempt to crawl. Its very exciting watching him develop and change. He loves to chat, giggle and have the occasional laughing fit. Rupert enjoys story time when he gets to sit and listen to pages of a book come alive. And his eyes light up when he gets to see daddy at the end of the day. 

Matty is still a busy man working as an engineer, performing with the Darwin Symphony Orchestra and leading on the church music team. His mum and sister also play in the orchestra so Rupert and I along with my father in-law, usually find ourselves enjoying regular concerts. 

As for me, I'm enjoying not being too busy with this and that and loving being a mum. I attend a Zumba class where I can and I look forward to Friday mornings mothers group. I also arrange a monthly ladies get together for our church Sisterhood.

I enjoy trying new recipes and also cooking with the fresh herbs from my garden. 

We have not made any recent trips south to visit family. But just recently, Matty's brother Stuart and his pretty lady Siobhan were up visiting so it was lovely catching up with them. My mother has visited and both mum and dad visited for Rupert's dedication back in May. There are many family members who are still to meet Rupert so, we look forward to traveling south of the Territory for a holiday later this year. :-)

Well, that's all from me. Till next time.

Not Famous but Dared to Dream

Aspiring Lawyer Mother!

 Yesterday I sat down to watch MasterChef, and as the contestants each reflected on their journey on the show I noticed a common theme. They spoke of how being on the show was a dream come true and that they were proving it possible to 'dare to dream.' In being on the reality show they were showing their children, friends and family what it meant to go after your dreams, and that they too can do the same. 

I don't usually watch MasterChef but I do enjoy a good reality show. Real people from real places doing, real things, winning real money and ... on show [literally] for the whole world to notice them.  

I don't wish to degrade or downplay the talent, motivation and achievements that reality stars and contestants have but, rather show that we can all 'dare to dream.' It's easy to watch these TV shows and feel like we're missing out on something. That we're missing out on chasing our dreams unless we make it on one of these shows to showcase our will and talent. Daring to dream isn't just about making it to MasterChef's top six or winning The Block. It's not just becoming the next Justin Beiber, Prime Minister or Yahoos CEO, etc. We can all 'make it' without being cast for a reality show and/or without being a media interest.  

Of course media isn't the only platform society rates our success by, it's also your job title or position. Its how much money we earn, which suburb we live in and how big our home is. Its where we've traveled, the degrees we've completed and the performances we might have staged.  

As a little girl right up to when I was a young teenager it was my dream to have a husband and to raise a big family. And it had also become apparent that I was skilled with a needle and thread so, by the time I was 17 I had completed a diploma in fashion CTF (clothing, textiles and footwear) and was a qualified seamstress. Even though I can confidently say that being behind a sewing machine was where my talent lie, I still didn't feel successful enough for society. I drummed into my head that I could be something greater, something more powerful and something more successful. I felt the need to dare greater dreams. So, I became a law student. I aspired to first become a lawyer and than a judge and to one day become the first female prime minister (there were rocks in my head). "And when I am prime minister I would surely be successful in society"!

There and then I dared to dream, the only problem was that it wasn't really my dream. I dared someone else's dream that was meant for many people but, becoming a lawyer was not Gods will for me [to dream].

It took a few degree changes before I realized that there was nothing I actually wanted to study at uni, and that it was okay to drop out. Being a 'drop out' was hard and it came with a feeling of failure and guilt. But it was going to be okay and social pressures was going to have to accept it!  

June last year I 'dared to dream' a dream that God purposed for me. Matty and I were meant to have had a home and to have travelled the world first but we 'dared to dream,' to become parents to a precious son. I dared to endure nine months of a protruding belly. I dared to endure fourteen hours of labour. I dared to love another like no other. I dared to change 8+ nappies everyday. I dared to be awake every two hours around the clock. I dared to endure endless crying and constant rocking.  

I dared to be a MOTHER ... and it was a dream come true!

Commit to the Lord everything you do. Then your plans will succeed.

Proverbs 16:3

Ken, Baby Born and Space Lego

To be a wife, mother, and the keeper of a home, it's the desire of most little girls hearts. 

I had many female Barbies but I only acquired one Ken doll because you only needed one prince charming to sweep you off your feet. As I nursed my baby Born as a child I always knew that someday I'd be a mother for real. And when I played with Lego I only ever built houses with four walls, a kitchen and three bedrooms, even if it was space Lego. 

As we get older the reality of life becomes apparent, and you soon realise that your childhood dreams and assumptions no longer appear in your toy box, nor can they be assumed. Finding the real life Ken is like a needle in a haystack, you can no longer buy him from the toy isle. And Santa won't just give me a Baby Born for Christmas. The real life Baby Born is nothing short of a gifted miracle! And well, the Lego home is a seemingly unattainable 30 years of debt but only after 5-10 years of saving.

I'm so blessed to have married my incredible prince charming at the young age of twenty. And even more blessed to have given birth to Rupert our miracle baby at just twenty two. And the house, well we're still working on that one. It seems to me that the more God blesses me with the more I want. 
I look back at our wedding and think how proud we were to have had a beautiful wedding on a budget. And that we were so content to have less in order to be married young, not be in debt of a one day celebration and to not have drained our savings (We were also very thankful that our parents contributed to our wedding).

As newlyweds we moved into the bottom floor of an elevated home (I had already been boarding here for some time). It was one big room which had no kitchen and the combined toilet and shower was also the laundry for the whole house but, it did have a small fridge and a microwave. We were again so content to live there and pay only $50 a week, if it meant we could be together with just my wage supporting us while Matty completed his degree.

Blessed yet again when friends put in a good word for us to be able to rent the cosy 2 bedda which we're still living in over 2 years later.  And I am still so grateful for the lovely unit we live in but, I wouldn't be honest if I didn't say I sometimes become discontent. The more God gives, the more I want from him! The absent backyard, the bathless shower/ toilet/ laundry room, the lack of a third bedroom for baby #2... all things that bring my discontent to light.

It was Thursday morning when I wandered through Bunnings for practically no reason other than to walk the rows of pretty flowers, punnets of hopeful veggies, get a glimpse at the oven of my dreams, and to spy at the glorious crystal chandeliers. It's nice to have goals and dreams to work towards, so long as it doesn't consume us so much so that we become covetous and, forget where we should really be storing treasures, and that my friend is in heaven! 

The afternoon came and I somehow got talking with our neighbours on the floor above (neighbours we weren't very acquainted with). They have two young daughters so I mentioned that they were an inspiration to us ('encouragement' would have been a more suited word), showing that it was indeed possible to have a family in a small 2 bedroom unit. Stuart than went on to say that he was Christian and that it can be hard but, he believes God is teaching him CONTENTMENT! What a breath of fresh air! Just to hear someone else with a common struggle, and even though his daughters would LOVE a house with a yard for a dog, he believes its God shaping him. Right there and then I felt ashamed for being so selfish but it was such a revelation that I too am being shaped by God and, I am learning the art of contentment. I am beyond blessed!

Journey to Super Woman

It wasn't until I had Rupert that I realised that women are amazing people. God created us so that we would become a kind of heroine.

Motherhood may not be everyones cup of tea but nevertheless if it is, you can rest assure that you were created to do the job well. God designed our bodies to bear the pains of childbirth and all post natal trauma. He gives women an inconceivable love for their children so that when challenges arise the mountain doesn't seem impossible to climb. And when it does, somehow we get over it! God gives us just enough strength to get through each day with a little extra to help you out of bed the next morning.

A homemaking career encompasses many a job. We become a nurse when we affix a bandaid to our child's knee and a teacher when we show them how to tie their shoes. We're head chef and waiter all in one when it comes to serving a hearty meal. We are receptionist in our own home, making sure bills are paid, events are rsvp'd and birthdays are remembered. We are cleaners (when we can) and we are our children's taxi service. And importantly we are our husbands support person, his sweet heart and his lover! We are the tenacious mum, loving mummy, courageous mother and adoring wife.

I don't see myself as super mum yet but I am aspiring to be [by Gods grace and help]. Becoming a mother has opened my eyes to the super woman that my mum is and that every other mother is! And I take my hat off to the women who also juggle work outside the home along with their homemaking, that is hard work on it's own. So, if your not a mother as yet, don't think I don't know that your becoming a super woman in your own right. But I write this post specifically for the mums, me being knew to it an all.

As wives and mothers we learn humility, making sure everything we do for our families is of the heart. In the workforce when budgets and targets are met you are recognised with a financial reward. You make sure that you do your job well so that when an opportunity for a higher position arises, you can be the first to deserve it. Overtime is worked so that you earn more money and if its a professional job, you dress to impress, to appear confident and competent. Now, although we may put in time and effort to prepare dinner every night, the most recognition we may get is "thanks for dinner mum/dear". We just learnt humility. There is no extra dollars for cooking a 4 hour roast instead of a toastie. Theres no embossed bachelor certificate to say your certified to cook amazing dinners! You may get promoted by your family to cook that roast again, because it tasted so great but otherwise, you do it because you love your family. And you need to eat hehe. You get what I mean!

The screaming, the puking, the dirty nappies and ton of washing... not things we always love and are happy to attend to but we are the perfect woman for the job. We (dads included ) are our children's greatest need. We are a kind of heroine to them.

...So that when he is old he will not depart from it

And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.  You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.  You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. Deuteronomy 6:6-9

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

Every step of motherhood is both daunting and exciting. Its a constant mental [and physical] challenge that you somehow manage to conquer every single time! Its an ongoing challenge and... an ongoing reward.

It starts with taking a pregnancy test off the store shelf and as you walk to the check out, you can't even put your finger on how your feeling. Then its seeing those little positive lines and your heart skips a beat. Your now forced to imagine your future, the rest of your lifetime with a son or daughter. How will I love and nurture this child? What kind of parent will I be? Will I be good enough? Am I going to miss not having children? Am I cut out for motherhood? Can we live on one wage? How is a baby going to change my relationship with my husband? Could I possibly love someone else as much as I love my husband? And most importantly, can I raise this little heartbeat within me to know Jesus as their saviour, so that when he is old he shall not depart from it?

Throughout pregnancy there are countless thoughts and emotions you go through, just trying to imagine a life you've never lived before. But what I struggled with most during pregnancy was the evident labour and childbirth. It caused much anxiety and it scared me to the bone. That challenge conquered! In the last weeks and days God gave me the most amazing feeling of confidence and strength. But now that I had Rupert safe in my arms I was faced with the next challenge. Recovery. After a 14 hour natural labour with no drugs and an episiotomy my body was exhausted, in pain and somewhat traumatised. 7 weeks on and I'm still dealing with the recovery. At times in tears with pain and frustration, so frustrated that after getting over one pain along came another, and it just doesn't seem to end. But nevertheless I'm conquering these challenges of painful events.

The above are all evident challenges that will be overcome. But what about my sons spiritual growth? How will I conquer this challenge? How can I be certain that Rupert will follow the ways of the Lord? How do I ingrain but not Bible bash, teach but not force? We gave our son life, and every life has a beginning but it hasn't an end. I can't make, choose or determine the decisions Rupert will make when he is older but, while he is young enough to be impressionable and influenced by us we are to make the most of it. We should lead by example and teach him the truths and stories of the Bible, and that we are in need of Jesus saving grace. We must pray for Rupert and walk in faith that, he too will follow Christ and have a personal relationship with Jesus his Saviour.  

Let's Get This Blog Rolling!

So, it's been a very long time since I did anything with this blog and I'm going to give it another shot.

...

Back in December I finished up at work and commenced maternity leave. Our baby was due in mid February and I wanted a couple of months to nest and prepare for the big journey my husband and I were about to embark on.

I was a little concerned that I might miss work and get just a little bit bored being at home. Despite my deepest desires to be the 1950's housewife and mother! I like structure and routine and, the consistency that it gives me in life. And of course the security of a wage. I wasn't sure that it would remain without my job outside the home. But it did. I loved every minute of being at home and being able to put a good dinner on the table. Not being forever tired and exhausted from a full days work. I discovered myself to be a happier person and enjoying my days far more. I loved having the time to read my Bible, make new curtains and quilts. I knitted and decorated and enjoyed having a clean home. I did what I was always too busy or too tired to do.

No doubt your wondering what I think now, after having a baby. Do I still enjoy being at home? Do I still have the time to do the things I listed in the above paragraph? And do I now think that my job at work is easier? Well yes, being a mother is exhausting and no I don't have as much time on my hands as I did before Rupert. However, it's a lifestyle I've adjusted to and love living. Do I think going to work was easier? Yes I do but its also more stressful and not as enjoyable or rewarding. I love that even after a sleepless night of crying, feeding and changing nappies that, I can embrace, hold and cherish every moment of my sons life. Their need to have you as their naturing mother... it greets you every minute of the day!

Now, I might not have adjusted quite as well if it wasn't for my dear friend Naomi giving me a certain book. The book titled 'On Becoming Baby Wise'. As I mentioned earlier, I like structure and routine and this book follows a 'parent directed feeding' method [a routine]. A method that helps me plan my day and the hours in that day. There are of course days where things don't go to plan but on the whole it generally works. I highly recommend the book and, like anything you customise to what suits your family. Another book I recommend is 'Calm Baby, Confident Mum'. This book written by Simone Boswell who is a mother that follows the 'parent directed feeding' method. She's not a nurse or doctor ect. but a mother who writes from her personal experience.

Anyway, signing off now but before I do I have a blog written specifically to my son Rupert. Its made up of daily notes and letters containing little things that he and I might have done that day. Click here to follow 'Letters to My Son'.