Not Fake, Choosing the Positives

I recently read this article on iVillage and it prompted me to write about why I don't post all the bad bits. I read through the comments that others posted on the article and they were mostly negative toward the writer. I'm not quite sure why it was even titled "Why I fake it on Facebook" because from what I read it just sounded like this mum only shared the good bits, and avoided posting the negative bits.

Well, I'm the same and I agree with this mum [writer]. I don't post all the 'bad' bits either. Nobody needs to know that I forgot to change a nappy before putting bubs to bed or that my 18 mo still can't say 8 words like the charts/stats say he should, or that I've had the same load of washing in the machine for 3 days now!  I know I'm not the perfect mother but I already know that I'm a wonderful mum trying to do my best! That's what we're all doing, right? Doing our utmost best for our children who we love dearly. And if I never saw a negative post from a mum on Facebook I don't assume she's perfect or that shes never served up a Vegemite sandwich for dinner. I think she's just another great mum powering on in her role as mother and that she chose to see and post the good above the bad! 

When I do have bad days I usually make a call or shoot a text to a close friend who's also a mother. Another mum who totally gets that you're in tears because you've been up all night with a baby and you've just yelled at your toddler for - you're not sure what! She's had those days and moments too. 

Why set myself up for judgment and negative criticism by posting to the world! Or why should I post in hope that I'll attract enough attention for people to tell me how good a mother I am and, so that I get a bunch of people sending me messages asking me if I'm alright or need something. But most of the time I don't want or need someone to rescue me I just need an understanding ear. If I'm not alright and I want to talk about it then I should initiate that.  

The [not so secret] truth is, that being a parent is damn hard sometimes! And just today I've had a rough morning! I've got two sick babies who are also out of whack because they both had immunizations on Friday and, I am so tired and sleep deprived because my normally sleeping baby wants my attention at 2 hr intervals! Whilst hanging out the washing that had been in the machine since Monday, Rupert got filthy dirty playing with the pot plants, and in my attempt to wash him in the shower he also peed on the bathroom floor and proceeded to walk through it with his dirty feet. That's just part of my morning. It's also just all normal everyday kid stuff but on those off days it all seems bigger then Ben Hur! 

I am not a perfect mother but I try to choose the positive route. I don't want my facebook page to be a whinge-fest just to prove I'm human. All us mums already know what it's really like behind closed doors anyway. We know non of us have it all together, even if it appeared that way. 

I'm honest about my imperfections with others and I love learning from other mums too. Social media just isn't always the right place for it on a continuous or regular basis. 

So whilst I've just shared about my mundane rough morning as a mum (which I will not be posting to facebook) I also want to share my positive 'tidbit' from today. The picture you see at the top of this post, are wooden play eggs lined up on the tv cabinet. I was so delighted when I turned my head from the laptop to hear and see my Rupert bear counting (in baby lingo) as he placed halved eggs side by side. It was both cute and clever. This is the 'bit' I choose to dwell on and remember.

Trips to the Show

Yesterday we took a family outing to the Royal Darwin Show. It was my third time going to the small country like show and it always brings back some funny memories. 

My first visit to the show was also my first date with Matt but I'll come back to that story in a bit. The second time we went to the show was the year I was pregnant with Rupert. I can recall Matt and I talking about how much more exciting it would be when we could bring our kids to the show. The dirty pens with ugly farm animals, the ginormous pumpkins, and the cheap worthless show bags would suddenly spark amazement in a small child's eyes. Well, two babies later we made our third trip to the show as parents but, before I tell you about how yesterday went let’s rewind back six years to 2007, my first visit to the Darwin Show.

In February 2007 I moved to Darwin and shortly afterwards met Matt through church and Uni events. We became friends. By about June/July our 'friendship' started to spark and before I knew it Matt was driving me to the Royal Darwin Show. 

I was feeling pretty good about this 'outing' to the show together and I made sure I was looking my best. I wore my long flowing hair out and had even purchased a new white top to wear. Little did I know about how much of a dust bowl this Darwin Show was, I was to soon find out it didn't even compare to the Sydney Royal Easter Show!

Back then I liked rides so, we bought some drinks and the adventure began. No food and one bottle of coke down we took to our third ride known as the 'Hurricane'. Big mistake! 

My mobile phone flew out of my bag, hitting Matt's head on its way to Timbuktu. I then began to feel very dizzy and light headed that I was soon leaning on Matt and could not compose myself. Matt was probably feeling a little bewildered by my sudden affection that had him squished to the side of the cart. Affection was not the intention, I felt as though I was dying and eventually I couldn't hold it in any longer. I vomited. And much vomit I vomited. As the Hurricane is still spinning in full motion my failed attempt to vomit over the outside of the cart resulted in the vomit flying back smack into my face, through my lovely long hair (that I wore out), onto my nice new white top, down my jeans and only just missing the people in the cart behind us! A lost phone, vomit all over me and barely able to walk, this was not going well. We headed for the toilets to get cleaned up but it got worse, we bumped into some friends of Matt's and with a face plastered in vomit I was introduced to them as his friend. Not cool and I've never been on another ride since!

Anyway we dated, became engaged and are now married; it didn't turn out too badly in the end. 

So, back to yesterdays visit to the show. It wasn't quite as great as I expected it to be, it seemed that Rupert was still just that bit too young to appreciate the animals and performances. He was fascinated at times and he did get to pat a baby chicken but was otherwise mostly restless and unhappy being stuck in the stroller. And when we had him out of the stroller he wanted to run among the crowds. It was was nice to be out on a family outing nonetheless and, we did get to enter some worthwhile competitions... fingers crossed!

Till next time... J x

Toddler Cooking

My son Rupert is 13 months old and has been eating solids for sometime now and only has a cup of milk after his meal.

For snacks he loves a variety of fruits, sultanas, rice cakes, cheese and plain biscuits. Breakfast usually consists of toast with either Vegemite, Promite or peanut butter or, Weet-Bix with yogurt and milk of course. Lunch is a sandwich with one of the already mentioned spreads, sometimes adding cheese or sliced banana. For dinner I usually pull out a frozen meal which is a concoction of vegetables and fruit. 

Rupert goes to bed at 6:30pm so he usually has dinner between 5:30 - 6pm and so, I found it convenient to cook up a big batch of this vegetable "concoction" once a fortnight, separating into individual meal portions and freezing.

I'll also mention that I often mix his meals around and give him his vegetables at lunch instead of dinner. If I know we'll be out for the evening its easier (and cleaner) to pack a sandwich for his dinner. 

This vegetable concoction I make may contain all or a variety of the following ingredients: pumpkin, potato, carrot, peas, pasta, chicken, tin tomatoes, apple, pear. It then all gets boiled in one big pot!

The reason for me writing this post is because I've come to realize that I should be making meals of more variety and textures. I have occasionally tried different dishes such as spag bol but Rupert has not liked it and probably because I have made it too flavoursome. So, I've decided I need to introduce more foods and meats but still keeping it simple and somewhat bland until he can acquire a taste for these new ingredients. 

People have given me many suggestions and ideas which I love to take on board but then I have considered what my sons eating habits, likes and dislikes are and come up with 2 recipes that I think will be a good start for Rupert. 

Now, yesterday I cleaned out the fridge and I've realized a grocery shop is needed so, the below recipes are of what I could find in the fridge and cupboards. I would have liked to have added more vegetable varieties. But my main aim was to come up with recipes that contained minced beef and tuna and I have managed to do that.
At 13 months Rupert isn't quite old enough to eat like a gentleman but is old enough to want to try so, I've opted to chop the vegetables chunky so that he can easily grasp with his fingers. 

Tuna & Tomato Risotto 

Author: Mama Essy

Ingredients

1 onion, chopped

1 garlic clove, crushed

1 cup uncooked rice, cooked

2 celery sticks, chopped

1 carrot, chopped

2 small potatoes, diced

1/4 cup frozen peas

2/3 cup canned kidney beans, drained

1 cup vegetable stock

1 400g tin diced tomatoes

1 185g tin tuna in springwater, drained

1/4 Parmesan cheese

Method

In a large saucepan fry onion and garlic until soft. Stir in rice, tomatoes and stock. Bring to boil. Reduce heat and add peas, celery, carrot, potato and kidney beans. Cover and simmer for about 30 - 45 mins. 

Stir through tuna and Parmesan cheese.

Savoury Mince with Pasta

Author: Mama Essy

Ingredients

1-2 cups uncooked pasta (I used combination of brown and white), cooked

500g mince beef

1 onion, chopped

1 garlic clove, crushed

1 170g tin tomato paste

1/2 cup water - stock added optional

1 carrot, chopped

2 potatoes, diced

1/2 cup frozen peas

Method

In a large saucepan fry onion and garlic until soft. Add mince and cook until browned. Stir through tomato paste and water. Add carrot, potatoes and peas. Stir through cooked pasta.