Saturday, August 11, 2012

Facebook & The Friends That Matter

Facebook, what do we think of it? If I were to ask someone I'd most likely get a negative response, even if that person does in fact have a Facebook profile. It would seem that whilst most people use Facebook they tend to express a lot of frustration and disappointment in having one.
And although we would love to delete our profiles and be free of gossip, statuses with underlining meanings, statuses that were intended to offend, unwholesome pictures and posts, statuses that provoke questions but the author isn't interested in answering them, random friend requests and, baffling friend deletes... we still have profiles.

I love Facebook but for all its good things. I enjoy creating events, keeping up to date with friends and family I love but am far from. I like to share tid bits of my life, pictures, encouraging words and uplifting comments. Its also a great tool for informing a 'body of people' about events etc. and to keep in contact with people regularly. But Facebook needs to be managed. If you don't want to manage it than you may be best without it.

Here are some guidelines I "try" to follow that keep me on Facebook without being continuously let down and frustrated.
  • Only add and accept friends you are willing to view statuses and posts from, that you know personally, and that you would be comfortable with sharing your posts with. 
  • Don't add people if you know your going to be subject to unwholesome pictures and posts. 
  • If you have already friended someone who writes posts you don't like seeing, change the settings with that friend to not have their posts appear in your feed. 
  • Friend only your friends and those that you would be happy to meet with for a coffee. 
  • Avoid friending people just because you want to "sticky beak" into their lives but don't actually want a relationship with and, 
  • make the effort to meet up with those that you want a genuine friendship with.
  • If you have a personal issue with someone don't just delete them. We need to be mature and go to that person and reconcile our differences first. Social media is often the cause of cyber bullying and has tragically led to teenage suicides so, us adults need to set a good example to the  next generation, by avoiding posts and statuses that attack particular individuals and are intended to offend.
  • If you want to avoid random friend requests you can opt to have your name to not appear in name searches.
  • I recommend your profile settings are set to private particularly if you post photos of children. 
  • Ask permission before posting photos of others, especially other peoples children.
  • Be mindful of posting pictures and comments on public (and even closed) groups and pages. 
  • When friending someone we should respect their views and beliefs, we don't always have to agree but we can agree to disagree.
  • When 'checking in' consider whether you are ok with everyone knowing where you are, especially if your profile isn't entirely private. 
  • The person you are in real life, be also on Facebook. Be genuine.
  • Theres a saying "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all".
Well, there you have a few tips for managing friends on Facebook but, the main (original) reason for this post was to  encourage people to nurture genuine friendships. To invest in real life 'face to face' time with those we love and care about. Friendships are two way streets so, be the initiator sometimes. Show your friends that you are genuinely interested in 'them'. If you feel that you've endlessly tried to be close with a friend and they don't reciprocate, than thats okay too. Keep them at acquaintance. I often find myself feeling hurt by others because I've opened myself up to people but they weren't willing to do the same. I've often gone the extra mile only to have been left hanging. 

Lets be available to help each other out. Don't let Facebook be the only tool to strengthening friendships. Pick up the phone and let someone know you are thinking of them. Take the time to write a letter in your own handwriting. Arrange to catch up over coffee. Offer a helping hand. Bake a cake. Show your friends you care.

A friend loves at all times. Proverbs 17:17



  1. I love this post. I think it's a good one for everyone to read, so I'm going to share it on my wall. Friendship is often only Facebook-deep these days. It should be more real.

  2. Thank you! I'm going to share this, too :)

  3. Nice entry Jess, and oh so true.

    Facebook is not enough! But it is great for inter-staters :) xx